Happy Mother's Day!

It’s Mother’s Day! In honor of the day I wanted to spend some time telling you about my awesome mom.

My mom told me today that she was not a perfect parent to me and that she wished she would have done some things different. My response to this was well, who is perfect, parents or otherwise? Thinking about it, I think that some of these so-called “imperfections” were the key to my mom’s successful parenting.

My mom was the “cool mom”. One summer morning when I was 12 or 13, I woke up to find my friend Sara downstairs talking with my mom. Sara had not come to see me. She came to bring a coffee cake she had made for my mom. So what made my mom so cool that my friends would prefer her company? Did she let all the kids drink booze on her watch? Not a chance! My mom was cool because she was funny, she would talk and listen to my friends, and when you were at our house you knew she cared about you because she made you follow the rules.

My mom let me read anything I wanted. One of my 8th grade students desperately wants to read the Twilight series but her parents won’t let her. I think that this is a shame. I was allowed to read any thing I wanted when I was a kid and it made me a good reader, a book lover, and simply a more interesting person. I will never forget the time I was sitting in the hall outside my 5th grade classroom reading Testament by David Morrell (ever heard of Sly Stallone’s First Blood? Morrell wrote it.) when my principal came by and asked what I was reading. I was free to choose what I read and I still appreciate it so much. Reading took me to places I could never imagine and taught me about events and people, both real and imagined, that school would have bypassed. It isn’t the kids who are given the freedom to read what they want who push the limits, it’s usually the kids who are censored.

My mom let me listen to anything I wanted. I should start by saying that my mom should be grateful for this because my love of good music meant that she never had to endure a New Kids on the Block phase with me. You’re welcome, Mom. I was that kid you were jealous of who had Guns N’ Roses and Motley Crue albums in the 5th grade. These records did not come without a conversation though. Usually it involved my mom laying it out for me that a lot of these musicians make risqué music to make a buck because it’s controversial. This meant that I wasn’t blasting it through the house just for shock value and I had perspective to see through gimmicks. I truly believe that these conversations are why I don’t fall for everything I read, see, and hear.

My mom let me be. I wasn’t forced into activities or sports that I didn’t want to do. My mom was no soccer mom and I am so thankful for that. My mom also did not dictate who my friends were. Many of my friends were having sex, drinking, smoking, and taking drugs by middle school. I never did any of these things. I was a free thinker and my mom trusted me. That isn’t to say that I never got in trouble or that my mom didn’t keep tabs on me, but I was raised to believe that there was more to life than keeping up with my friends. Most of the time, my friends thought I was pretty neat for doing my own thing and sometimes I faced exclusion. My mom trusted and respected me enough to know that I would make the right choices and I usually did. By letting me be myself, I found out who I was at an early age and had a strong sense of self awareness.

Mom, thanks for being you and letting me be me. Happy Mother’s Day.