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Monday, September 28, 2009

Dreams 9/27/09

Becky got me into recording my dreams a long time ago. I've slacked lately so here's another attempt:

Dream #1: I dreamed that I was sleeping and was awoken by a scratching sound on the vent. I woke up and it was a white mouse. I started yelling and screaming. I jumped out of bed and the mouse got into the bed. I called my mom and asked her how to get rid of a mouse and she said to put Comet in the vents. I looked around my house and couldn't find Comet.
Dream #2: In my next dream I went to my mailbox to get the mail and there was a home-made CD with a note attached to it. The note was from someone I didn't know and they told me that they were going to kill themselves. I called the police and when they got to my house the police officer looked at the note and said "well, they're dead!"

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

One Year of Health

This time last year I was home after a morning of surgery. I had a tube, 20 staples, and my lower back was at least 6 inches concave. One year later, I still have a scar from the tube, my back is still slightly concave and scarred, I have no feeling in my left leg but I am awash with gratitude.

A year ago today I was relieved to be finished with surgery but it would be 2 weeks before I learned that my tumor was benign. It was a horrible 2 weeks of worry. When I learned that I was cancer-free, I wanted to dance right out of the doctor's office, despite the fact that I would have to wear my tube for 2 more months. I'm not sure if I ever properly thanked the people who made my life easier while I recovered so let me do so now.

I'm grateful to my parents who visited me and my friends called just a few hours after my surgery. I am not a parent but I can't imagine the fear my parents felt when they saw their child with half her back sucked in and carrying a tube after having surgery at a cancer hospital. Many of my friends visited the next day and I am deeply grateful that they did. They brought their children and helped me laugh at my deflated back.

I'm grateful to Melissa who came to many doctor's appointments with me and made sure no one screwed up. I'm grateful to the lady who carried my books at the library, to all the moms who pulled their kids away from me before they got too close to my tube, the cancer forums where I could post anxious questions anonymously, and to the pharmacist at Target who asked me about the tube instead of just staring at it and giving me a pitiful look. I'm grateful to Brian who cleaned out my back and changed my bandages, especially those first few days because I nearly passed out a few times. It was pretty gross.

Thanks everyone. I hope everyone reading this is as lucky as I am.