Weezer in Concert: A Non-Fan Look

Last Saturday, Brian and I saw Weezer in concert. I have always liked a few of their songs and while they have never really annoyed me, I don't consider myself a big fan. I went to the show because Brian has been dragged to many concerts by me. In fact, he had to stand in an alley in the middle of Detroit at 1 AM so I could get my picture taken with one of my favorite bands. The least I could do is sweat with some nerds and watch Rivers Cuomo stand like a statue on stage, right? Well, much to my surprise I enjoyed myself and here's why:

1. The audience. At a concert, the behavior of the audience is very important. A bad crowd can ruin any show. Weezer's audience consisted of kids between the ages of 5 and 60, and all appeared to be sober. The seats were assigned so no one was pushing to get in front of me, no one spilled beer on my shoes, nor did anyone make out with their significant other while pressed up against me. The only time I had to get out of the way quickly was when the singer decided to visit the audience. The nerds wanted to touch their king so I moved.

2. No dilly-dallying. I have now seen several shows at the great Ohio State fair and they all run in a timely manner. I think it is because the grounds have to close at a certain time so whatever band is performing has to get on with it. I like it that I don't have to wait an hour (or more!) for the main act after the opening act has left the stage. I also like getting out at a reasonable time. I know. I'm old. But I would have appreciated these factors just as much at 22 as I do now at 32.

3. Showmanship. Weezer put on a great show. They looked like they were having fun. The singer spent a lot of time in the audience and not just in the first few rows. He went all the way to the back of the concert hall and posed for pictures, signed autographs, and sang along with fans. Beachballs were being tossed around, a little girl got to go on stage with the band for her 9th birthday, and even the sign language interpreter got some love. I did not expect much of a show. I envisioned Rivers standing at his microphone all night, barely moving. I was pleasantly surprised.

4. The music. Not only did Weezer put on a great show, they sounded great, too. I'm not familiar with their entire catalog and I am sure they did not make everyone happy but they seemed to select a good assortment of songs from their records. I knew every song, thanks to Brian and my time listening to them in high school. They even threw in a MGMT cover and made fun of Lady Gaga.

5. Rivers Cuomo. It's no secret that I like my men nerdy. If you know me, then you know I prefer Spock to Kirk and I married a guy who gets way too excited over Hot Wheels. Needless to say, I found myself swooning over the Weezer frontman a few times during the show. The thick glasses. The bad clothes. He has it all.

7 Rules for the Concert Attendee

A few weeks ago I was excited to learn that the Scorpions and Cinderella were coming to my town. I like the Scorpions but I have always been a big Cinderella fan. A days ago, the Scorpions' singer, Klaus Meine got sick and had to cancel. The tickets were refunded but those cool guys in Cinderella played a free show. American Dog and The Ordinance opened for them, both native Ohioan bands. The Ordinance had some equipment issues but their singer kept going, finding microphones where he could and stayed energetic. American Dog had a stronger set with their country rock sound and many people in the audience seemed to be familiar with them.

Cinderella played a full set of their hits. Every song was spot on. Tom Keifer's vocal chord surgeries have paid off. They looked good, sounded good, but the night wasn't perfect. Why, you ask? The audience! It is time to learn the basics of concert attendance.

1. Smoke on the Water. I have no issue with cigarette smoke. Despite having allergies and asthma, it does not bother me that much. What does bother me is being in tight quarters and nearly taking a cigarette in my eye, arm, leg, or any other exposed body part. Be aware of your surroundings and the people you're sharing them with. My neighbors at the concert, for the record, were very courteous smokers. They attempted to blow their smoke up and not in my face. They also kept their cigs away from my skin. The lady in front of me, however, was nearly getting burned all night.

2. Know your audience. Crowd surfing is not status quo at a Cinderella concert and because of that fact I don't feel sorry for the guy who landed on his face when he got dropped on his face. Crowd surfing was okay at a Pearl Jam show---in 1994 but not here.

3. Hold your liquor. I, personally, have never understood the point of getting drunk at concerts. Tickets are normally expensive so why would you want to drink so much that you don't even remember the show? Just drink yourself into a stupor at home. It will be cheaper and you won't get your ass kicked by 1,000 people. But I digress. If you insist on drinking, don't get so drunk that you are infringing on other peoples' experience.

4. Be on time. Don't show up in the middle of the opening act and feel entitled to shove your way to the front. Not everyone can be in the front row so just deal with it. You wouldn't sit in someone's lap at a theatre just because they got better seats than you so why do this at a concert? Again, you're just going to end up getting your ass kicked.

5. Don't talk to strangers. I enjoyed talking to the lady last night about the time she saw Cinderella when she was 19 and the lady at the Tesla concert who who has seen them 100 times. I did not enjoy the guy who kept talking to me last night though. He was with his girlfriend and she was getting annoyed. I was also getting annoyed. If you're there with your girl or guy, don't make conversation with the opposite sex unless your partner is involved in that conversation. You're going to end up starting a fight.

6. Stay together. If you've gone to a concert with friends or family, stay together. Last night one woman was frantically trying to get to the front row to talk to her grandson. This did not go over so well. Don't expect special treatment just because your grandson, especially a near-adult grandson, is there and you are looking for him.

7. A final word. Let me just describe two girls from last night's concert: they were totally trashed, jumping up and down non-stop, spilling beer on their neighbors, nearly headbutting the people behind them while they were flailing around, sitting on the barricade resulting in being yelled at by the bouncers and nearly falling over, constantly talking to their neighbors, and asking for lighters. Several people had to yell at them. This was all before the opening acts even got to the stage. If you can avoid behaving this way, you'll be okay.

What are your rules for concerts? Share with us your crazy concert stories!